Signing Off… For Now

So I started writing this post on Monday night, it is now Wednesday night. I’ll give finishing it a crack.

I love celebrations. I love giving gifts that people love, and even though I never need an excuse to catch up with my favourite people, it is nice to have one. December is full of celebrations. Yesterday I turned 24. I was in Melbourne and managed to fit in most of my favourite Melbourne activities. If I had of seen Collingwood win at the ‘G then that would have actually made it the best weekend ever; although I can let that slide being December and all. I finished of my birthday at the carols, waving fake candles with my fellow christmas nerd Rach and her family, Joel Carolyn, and Ryan – reluctantly.

The day before my birthday was six months since my official diagnosis. Looking back, it has flown by very quickly. It has been a series of peaks and troughs, of adjustment, and a period of time that has somewhat altered my perception. Not in the I’ve had a brush with death type of way, (becuase I haven’t) but I feel like my priorities are ordered a little differently. Who knows if it will last, in another six months I could be right back as the same person I was before this whole cancer thing. I have goals to stress less, and keep things in perspective. But only time will tell.

Tomorrow is my last treatment.  

Skip forward two days… are you there yet? I’m at Wednesday evening, you’re with me? Good.

So yesterday was my last treatment. Dad came to hospital with Mum and I, and it was a bit different with him there. I wasn’t allowed to stall, he kept me moving. “Quick, come on, what are you doing?” As I’ve mentioned before I hate walking into that room. I’m pretty much angry for five hours, and have my headphones in and don’t talk to anyone. Then as we walk out my spirits perk up. I felt like hot chips, so we went and got hot chips. I enjoyed them, no matter how bad they are for you.

Many of my friends have asked me how it feels to be finished, but to tell you the truth, it hasn’t really sunk in. My new normal is normal for me now, in that I don’t make plans for every second week, and have to factor in feeling tired and dizzy. It seems sureal that I won’t have to consider these things anymore.

A friend called me on Sunday. I must admit I haven’t been very good at seeing this friend very often over the last few years, but he remains, and always will be, a good friend. He told me he was undergoing the processes of tests and being diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. My heart sank. All I wanted to do was reach through the phone and give him the biggest hug. I didn’t know what to say, and the only words I could find to comfort him were, “This really sucks, but it’s ok.”

I still think that I am really lucky.

1 – My type of cancer is so treatable.

2 – I am surrounded by people that love and care about me

and 3 – I have been given the opportunities by these people to completely focus on getting better for the last six months.

I am grateful for this every day, and to my friend, and who ever else finds this blog relevant to them; the best thing you can do is surround yourself with great people. They will give you the permission to feel crap, they will lift you up when you need it, they will distract you when your mind is running through all the what ifs and what could bes, and finally they will stick by you and still be your friend when you gain 7kg, get a blokes haircut, and have issues controlling your digestive system.

My next appointments are on the 24th of January. I have scans, and then I am seeing George to discuss my outcomes. Again, I have six weeks. In the next six weeks I endevour to

-Celebrate christmas

-Say farewell to 2013 and welcome in 2014. It can only be a better year.

-Participate in Surf T’ Surf

-Enjoy my summer holidays between the river and the beach.

I don’t think I’ll have much to share with you between now and my scans, but I know I have one last post to write. You’ll just have to wait for that.




2 thoughts on “Signing Off… For Now

  1. Thanks so much for sharing your blog/new normal with us all Rach, its been a great insight to what you’ve experienced. Congrats for taking it in your stride, being such an infectious friend and kicking ass! The world is your oyster… Love Jess & Timmy xx

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